Am I the only one who has this? Let me know.<\/p>\n
Suddenly everybody talks about New Product. It’s said it changes everything. Articles about New Product appear on Hacker News<\/a> for weeks. Then colleagues on LinkedIn even mention New Product (Warning! People you know, know New Product!). (Or they’re just linking to articles about New Product, so they look cool. Either way: they must know New Product!)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Oh man, everybody already knows New Product: Spotify, Local Retailer\u2122<\/b> and even that fitness app you use. Mental images of everybody working happily with New Product – for at least a year! Some of your colleagues confirm: you are now much less cool, because you don’t know New Product. Definitely!<\/p>\n You ignore some stories about people who think New Product isn’t the solution. They’re probably losers that don’t adapt these new technologies and got left behind ages ago.<\/p>\n New thought: “I’m left behind. I have to do something”.\u00a0Short, shallow breaths. “But first let’s catch up with my mail..”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Okay, okay, let’s calm down. There is still time. There must be some information on this. Let’s go to the product’s website. “New Product is an enterprise solution for scalable streaming .. “. Ohhh, buzzwords. I don’t get any of this!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I’m a goner, aren’t I? That’s it. It’s the way of the dinosaurs for me. Well, maybe I can still keep a job somewhere, working with my outdated technology experience. That happens, right?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Wait. What if there’s someone who explains New Product to me… in a Youtube video of about 10 minutes? (A conference like Dataworks Summit might also help. Just saying.)<\/p>\n Yes!<\/a>! Yes<\/a>, there<\/a> is!<\/a><\/p>\n Sudden grasp of what New Product is. Thank you, video from Indian guy from 2015.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n You thought New Product was an entirely new paradigm, but it’s just a new way to <containerize applications | manage data streams | basically a specialized file system>. You can’t imagine anymore that there ever was a time you didn’t grasp this. It’s so easy now. Of course you want to <containerize applications | manage data streams | use this new file system> this way. It’s just common sense.<\/p>\n By the way, other colleagues who don’t get New Product are totally uncool. Definitely!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <Your company \/ That site you work at> finally adopts New Product. Two years after.<\/p>\n This New Product is great, but nobody told me about this particular annoying bug. Plus it doesn’t do <security measure> and that won’t fly in my organization. Internal customers complain New Product doesn’t do Y.<\/p>\n Actual work.<\/p>\n Contact with support.<\/p>\n Bug reports.<\/p>\n <\/p>\nPhase 2: Anxiety<\/h2>\n
Phase 3: Failed attempts to understand New Product<\/h2>\n
Phase 4: Despair<\/h2>\n
Phase 5: Youtube<\/h2>\n
Phase 6: Is that all?<\/h2>\n
Phase 7: Actual experience with New Product<\/h2>\n
Phase 1: A New New Product Appears<\/h2>\n